<lj-cut text="Mom's Letter">
I'm writing you this letter because this doesn't seem to be something you are willing to discuss with me in person. So in order to spare us both from getting upset, I thought this was the best way. I know that in the past month since I've told you about my desire to be male, everytime it's come up there has been tension. You knew that was the reason I cut my hair, the reason I was asking you about what names you liked, and the reason I've been looking for a binder. Once again, I don't ask that you support me in this, although it is appreciated, but only that you accept me the way I am.
This hasn't been an easy descision in the least. But I knew I could no longer lie to myself and pretend to completly comfortable in a way that I'm not. My descision also was in no way affected by my friends, gay, straight, or otherwise. This descision was made because I stopped and took a long hard look at my life and thought about what I want now and what I want in the future. Alot of transgendered individuals feel they were born into the wrong body. This is not entirely the case with me. I don't feel I was born into the wrong body but rather had I been born male I would've been better off. I have a longing to be a part of the gay community, as a male, not as a female observer. I don't want to date women, buzz my hair off, or walk-around looking like Billy Bob Lumberjack. I want to be the same as I am. A guy-loving, makeup wearing, singing, dancing, musical theatre persona. But I want to do all these things as a male. Being a female just feels wrong. I don't imagine myself this way. And while I love my friends and I am comfortable being myself around them, there is always someone there to remind me that I'm female. And I hate this.
I don't know if I'm making any sense. This is still a new and difficult process for me. But I hope you won't make it any harder. I intend to ask friends to start calling me by my chosen name, Nico. I will leave it up to you what you choose to call me. I won't even be insistant about the use of pronouns because I know it bothers you, but I do ask you don't say anything like, "You are a girl/woman/female" or anything like that. It makes me very uncomfortable.
For a while I felt like my life was sort of stuck in second gear, and somehow I feel with choosing to transition I am moving forward. In the not to distant future I would like to further pursue my transition and transition medically, and even get top surgery down the road. You know how much I hate my chest, they are a constant reminder of what I don't want to be, and they make me feel disgusting.
I hope you can accept me, male or female, and just love me as your child. If you can't, I understand, but please don't stop me from being who I want to be. (Old name), Nico, or anyone else.
<lj-cut text="Friends' Letter">
Dear (Name of Friend),
I know we don't see a lot of each other. I can't say when we will see each other next. But since you are a friend of mine and someone who comes in and out of my life I thought you should know about a few things.
It is not secret that I have always had a draw toward gay men. Most people write this off as typical straight woman behavior. But mine goes a step further. I have this draw toward gay men because I desire so much to be a gay man, and be a part of the gay community. I've decided that I am female-to-male transgendered. I've started asking friends to call me by my chosen male name, Nico. And refer to me with male pronouns. I realize this may be strange or difficult for some of you, you may not wish to associate with me anymore, and I regretably understand.
But I must be true to who I am, as I would expect anyone else to be. If you have any questions for me I will gladly answer them. Telling you was a difficult descision. But because you are people I respect, you deserved to know. I hope we can still be friends, and this will not change anything between us.
Any advice on writing letters to my extended family, dance instructor (who I have only know about 2 months), and a few closer friends would be appreciated.