juicypuffin (juicypuffin) wrote in transletters,

Letter to Father

I haven't sent it yet and I'm going to wait a bit until I get feedback from friends and et cetera on how to word it.


I want to be male. This is something I've thought about for years but I only started acting on it around a year ago. I don't want to be just a tomboy and I don't want to do it to "run away from being gay". I'm going to do it eventually no matter how many people oppose the idea or who they are so I'm hoping you don't take this badly. Living as a girl feels wrong to me even if I'm not someone who wears makeup or dresses up.

I just started visiting a counselor recently and it's "possible" I could obtain hormone therapy in three months. This is a series of shots that stop your more feminine hormones from being made in your body as much as they are now and that increase your more masculine hormones. An alternative to shots is a patch but apparently that's more. I would have to inject the shots myself. The only bad side-effects from the hormones would come if I stopped taking hormones after starting because I would get withdrawl symptoms then. There's no research on if there are effects from hormones after taking them for decades and the counselor said I would just have to regularly check in with a doctor, but of course I would be doing that anyway.

Counseling is co expensive vered on insurance and my first meeting with a doctor to discuss hormones is on April sixth so I don't know if that is covered or not yet, it's one of the things I was going to talk about with them. Both the counselor and doctor I am going to are very well known and highly recommended.

I wanted to tell you before anything major happened, like me actually starting hormones.

I'll send a similar Email to mom after I send this one to you. I don't want to call you on the phone because it's easier for me to remember all the facts when typing an Email like this and I'll probably get too emotional. Also although my first name is unisex I would like a different one and I definitely want a different middle name. This isn't because I don't like my name but because I connect it to being a girl and I don't want that. And for the record, you're the first one in the family I've told.


Notes: "thought about for a few years"... more like "thought something was wrong but only thought about gender transition starting a year ago". Gotta make it sound like this isn't a spur of the moment decision here.

Also he already knows I like girls and he's cool with it.

By the way, this reply letter sounds like my dad could have written it.

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