I just found out that my therapist is charging me 125 bucks for the T letter he wrote me last month. Is this price outragous, or is it just me?
It took him a month to write the letter, and I still don't even have my own copy of it (he faxed it straight to my doc). I knew I was going to have to pay a fee, but he never told me it would be this much.
I just wanted to know if anyone else has had to pay this much. Also, anyone have any suggestions as to how I should approach him about this? I already wrote him an email saying I didn't realize it would be so much, and asked if this was the standard price.
So, I came out to my parents three years ago and it went terribly. I was excommunicated, taken back under circumstances that i attended exodus international, quit that like 3 weeks in because it was ridiculous and I was just doing it to buy time (whoops), and then essentially had to flee. So, as of this year my mother and I have been talking again on and off but never about anything to do with my being a trans man. Not to mention, at this point, I've been on T for almost 2 years and it shows. But we essentially have just been small-talking for the last 2 years, all while using non-preferred pronouns/name, but I've just been quiet about it for the most part except for a few instances which ended in massive arguments. My 5 sisters/brothers either strongly disagree or dont care, but wouldnt dare refer to me any other way than what my mother prefers. Same with my grandparents, who also live in the same house, although they've expressed that they don't know what to do as my mother would be angry. My stepfather freaked out on me once really hard when I first came out, but nothing since. Since my coming out they've become hardcore far right wing evangelists. I mean, they were always conservative and kind of easter/christmas christians but then I came along and everything went CRAZY.
Anyway, last week, in a moment of frustration and hope for some kind of understanding, I, via the telephone (since I live across the state), told my mother how it bothered me that we have essentially been tiptoeing around for the last 3 years and how I can come home now and we talk on the phone every day but I'm constantly having to put up with being called she and [legal "birth" name] while it is so clearly obvious that that isn't how I identify and how despite how much I want to come home and how much I love talking with her on the phone, that it all feels very contrived especially on her part. And I told her that it bothers me when she says that she loves me every time we get off the phone but that she wont even truly discuss these things with me. So she blows up and essentially says that she still thinks that I'm wrong and effed up and that I haven't even TRIED her way (ie, exodus) and then rambles off the same statistics that she has been rattling off to me for years which are horribly distorted and ones I'm sure you've heard before (ie. John Hopskin's blah blah suicide blah blah). And of course I try and tell her the real story of all these things and in this conversation tried again but then it turns to God and how I'm unnatural which again I could write a book on in response. However, it just seems like nothing is getting through. Everyone keeps telling me to wait it out and I've waited three years before really bringing it up again, aside from saying things like "I'd rather you not say that." or "please don't call me that" or "No kidding my room looks like a "guy's room"". So I mean, it isn't like I've even remotely been "hiding" who I am or what I've been doing whatsoever. I just try my best to ignore the things they say to me. So, back to the point: I waited three years. Brought it up. I'm essentially back to where we were 3 years ago. I haven't spoken with her in a week either because she hasn't answered the phone or because I just don't want to fall back into playing that "lets talk about the weather or anything else" game.
So, I guess, since she is so impossible to TALK to. I am wondering if maybe I should write a letter (I have considered making this extensive video piece... being that I suck at writing and video art is what I do anyway).
My question is... at this point... what do I say???
I just watched the most important film I’ve watched all year called Coming Out Stories. Its a documentary made by Logo, the LGBT channel, and it follows several different people as they come out to the most important people in their lives. I was really glad I saw it and finally understood what my sister went through. I found the DVD for rental from this site - http://www.logoonline.com/netflix.
I am writing this to tell you about a problem I've been dealing with since childhood. For years I have attempted to deal with this problem unsuccessfully. It is to the point where it is causing me much anxiety, and you deserve to know. I cannot continue holding this in and hiding the issue. This is very difficult for me to write and tell you, but you need to know, because I love you. For all of my life I have had a gender issue. I have always hid the feelings hoping it would go away. I have always thought I should have been born female. I never wanted to be this way, I just want to be happy. I want to be happy for you, and for redacted and redacted. I am keeping this short intentionally, I just want to inform you of the problem I am having and why I have been noticeably bothered for the last few months. I am asking for your support to help me through this issue. Please feel free to ask me any questions you have.
I've a LJ newb, so hopefully this works. I've known I had a gender issue since I was very young, and have held these feelings in for years I guess in hopes that it would go away or that i could deal with it. I'm now to the point where I can't really deal with it and have started seeing a therapist and am trying to move forward with happiness. I've been married for 3 years, have two daughters (2, and 4). I have a huge problem with confrontation, and some friends have recommended I write a letter and have my wife read it in my presence. Here is my attempt, please be kind.
I am writing this to tell you about a problem I've been dealing with since childhood. For years I have attempted to deal with this problem unsuccessfully. It is to the point where it is causing me much anxiety, and you deserve to know. I cannot continue holding this in and hiding the issue. This is very difficult for me to write and tell you, but you need to know, because I love you. For all of my life I have had a gender issue. I have always hid the feelings hoping it would go away. I have always thought I should have been born female. I never wanted to be this way, I just want to be happy. I want to be happy for you, and for redacted and redacted.
Also, does stating it that way going to be a problem because the reason for surgery is officially documented (for insurance purposes) as endometriosis?
If anyone has an example of their SRS letter, I would greatly appreciate being able to look at it. The surgeon's office said if I drafted a letter and faxed it over, they could put it on their letterhead and sign it, I'm just not sure what it should say.
PS I live in Wisconsin and the statute says I need to have a letter from an SRS surgeon stating that I've had SRS surgery...whatever that means!
I'm the oldest of 3 kids, a younger brother (18) and a younger sister (13). My sister is the one that I'm most worried about telling the family (including extended family). She looks up to me and does the same things I do, likes the same things I like etc. I told her last summer that I'm "gay" (although I feel like a straight boy) and she's totally fine with it and loves my girlfriend. I don't want to "let her down", on the other hand I feel like she'll be the most understanding of everyone.
(PS- I have a huge family, 24 aunts and uncles, and over 43 cousins... we're an extremely close family, but most of the aunts and uncles are very closed minded.)
As for my friends, they've all handled it well. I told them when I was in high school that I wanted to get SRS and so they knew it was a possibility. Now that it's something that is going to happen, they've all handled my "2nd coming out" rather well!
Does anyone have any advice for how to come out to my family or how to handle telling my sis? Or does anyone have any stories of how their family/friends
To celebrate the passing of a year of journal entries, I thought I would post the first draft completion of one of the chapters in my “Coming Out Book.” This book will essentially be a really long coming out letter that I'll give to someone after I talk to them about my transsexualism. The idea is to educate them before they type "transsexual" into Google and to cover as many questions as possible.
Chapter 2: Why is Steve Doing This?